「bed」を含む日記 RSS

はてなキーワード: bedとは

2019-01-21

Life ended without knowing what I want to do.

I always ran away from a childhood.

My parents taught me to say "Yoshie" to myself who are only looking at the neighboring children playing from where they are playing. It means that if you write in kanji "wanna be", I want you to put it in a group. At last I never said it.

I was just playing inside the house. I did not get bored because the books and games were given as such. Although I was only watching TV when I was doing animation or special effects, I did not get interested in dramas and song programs.

Kindergarten and elementary school were pitch dark jungle. There are lurid animals lurking around, and it gets bitten when it gets out of hand. They are laughed at by "friends" who do not know their faces and names, are faced with confusion, have remembered remembered.

Because I do not know what will come up in the classroom, I wandered around the school looking for a hiding place. I was afraid to blink because I do not know what to do if my eyes are closed.

When I went to public middle school as it is, I decided to pursue an advanced school at my parent's discretion that he must be killed. I did not know exactly what the school was going to do, but as a result of trying hard as I said, I caught somewhat over there.

I do not know whether public was a good because I do not know public. The classmate was still a flock of beasts, but there was no prominent bad group. There was a big library, so I arrived at the vacant time. The secondhand bookstore in the way back was also a favorite place. It took about an hour from the house by bus, but it was exactly good to read a book and sometimes got over it.

Although it is an advanced school that entered with great difficulty, I do not remember having worked hard on my studies. During the class we did nothing but graffiti in the textbooks and drew the accumulated delusions in secret notes. Although I had the opportunity to choose club activities after enrollment, I was told that my partner in the department I tried to join was left with a promise for the first time as it was. Since it was consistent in middle and high level, there was no break and only the number of the grade increased.

Although I heard that it seems that they will go to university after going out of high school, I did not understand the mechanism of the exam and so on, so I did not distinguish between the mock test and the center exam. Because I was not particularly conscious of which university I wanted to go to, I received the appropriate undergraduate properly for my grades.

I went to the national state of the neighboring prefecture and got a remittance and started living by my own apartment. It was quite a city compared to the mountain and the rural family of the rice fields, but the main use was Super, Hundred Hundred, and a secondhand bookstore old game store. I was thinking only how to live within a given amount of money without doing a part-time job.

Every lecture was interesting, and the library was big. I also touched on computers and the Internet for the first time. However, it was only in truics that gathered up, and I did not know what to aim for.

People around me were no longer beasts at this time, but I could not feel like approaching from myself. Some people call me out and I also tried circle activities, but eventually I did not last long for any relationship. It seemed to be crushed by a feeling of disgust for myself who flew in association with people and inferiority complex to a person advancing with dreams and goals.

The graffiti of the note was continued, but the more I wrote the more I could show my emptiness. The setting and design I thought was original was only imitation of someone. Both love and ideal were words alone, I did not believe anything.

While taking a stroller while taking a unit, I could not write a thesis. I can not think of any theme I want to study. I could not see anything I wanted to do, I should do, I could do nothing. I knew there was no head like I could go to the hospital and I could not do anything that could help society with what I learned.

I smuggled without meaning suddenly in my assigned laboratory, graduated after two years of retirement. I submitted a graduation thesis that just briefly gathered texts gathered with books and the net as it was given to the professor, and escaped to my parents house.

Because I can not just stay in bed at home, I started job hunting, but there is no reason to find a company that only has a college graduate title, there are companies that hire people who do not even know the jobs that I want to do but I do not know. I decided to work hourly as a food warehouse in the neighboring town according to the advice that it is good anywhere as it is supposed to work after trying it. It was supposed to be for the moment, but it has been ten years as it is.

Physical labor was painful but I got used to it for years. Basically it's not necessary to use your head as it just moves boxes according to written numbers. There are people in the surroundings, but there is no talk except a morning greeting and trouble report. Many boxes are shipped everyday, but the buyer knows only the name written on the label. I just keep carrying boxes.

The salary is also about that, as it is a job that also works for student part-time jobs. Thanks to my hometown my savings were somewhat sad, but if there is a big expenditure due to sickness etc. it will easily be erased. I should have searched for another job, but I could not move my mind if I thought that I could do other work for myself struggling even such an easy job.

There is no dissatisfaction with the daily life itself. I do not have to worry about eating and if I am playing games with candy at home if I have stress on work I can solve it. There is no reason to stick to clothes and grooming as I never see anyone outside the company. Especially there are no places to go and nobody wants to see. I do not drink it, do not hit it, do not buy it.

It turned 40 years old. Although I told you to be a fairy when I was alone after passing 40, this may actually be such a fairy town. Instead of struggling, new things do not happen. Like a light rainy afternoon, quietly just waiting for the night.

This week was a similar week as last week. It will be the same next week. Every day next month and next year, days that do not change will continue. In the meantime parents fall down. And then. There is only a big event left in life anymore.

I think that my life has already ended. I am not dead alone, I am not alive. You can set as many small targets as you want, but it will never lead to something else.

Even though I thought what I wanted to do, I did not understand it after all. I feel a little sad when I think that it is born empty and die empty.

 

2018-11-07

anond:20181107160827

bedベットって書くタイプだ!

bagをバックって書くんだろ!

goodsをグッツって書くんだろ!

anond:20181107160827

ベッド→bed(寝具)

ベットbet(賭ける)

 

体じゃなくてロシアンルーレットとかじゃないか

2018-09-19

連作短編小説英語)のおすすめ

自分メモ。Short Stories to Read Before Bed - The New York Times から

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/18/books/review/short-stories-before-bed.html

登場人物舞台が重なっている短編小説集。ほとんど90年代以降の新しめのもの

読者から

Elizabeth Strout

Olive Kitteridge isbn:1849831556

Sherwood Anderson

Winesburg, Ohio isbn:0140186557 これだけ1919年

邦訳あり:ワインバーグ、オハイオ新潮文庫isbn:4102201513 ワインバーグ・オハイオ (講談社文芸文庫) isbn:4061975730

Tim O’Brien

The Things They Carried isbn:0618706410

Come Together

Jennifer Egan

A Visit from the Goon Squad isbn:0307477479

邦訳あり:ならずものがやってくる(ハヤカワepi文庫isbn:4151200827

Denis Johnson

Jesus' Son isbn:1847086705

Lorrie Moore

Self-Help isbn:0307277291

Alice Munro

The Beggar Maid isbn:0099458357

Charles Baxter

Through the Safety Net isbn:0679776494

邦訳あり:安全ネットを突き抜けて(Hayakawa Novels、絶版isbn:4152077646

A Relative Stranger isbn:0393322203

Believers isbn:0679776532

Andrea Barrett

Ship Fever isbn:0393316009

Servants of the Map isbn:0007139918

The Voyage of the Narwhal isbn:0393319504 長編

Location, Location, Location

Alice Fulton

The Nightingales of Troy isbn:0393335445

Lauren Acampora

The Wonder Garden isbn:080212481X

I Put a Spell on You

Helen Oyeyemi

What Is Not Yours Is Not Yours isbn:1447299396

Violet Kupersmith

The Frangipani Hotel isbn:0812983475

Family Affairs

Antonio Ruiz-Camacho

Barefoot Dogs isbn:1476784973

Daniyal Mueenuddin

In Other Rooms, Other Wonders isbn:1408801043

2018-06-08

現状の家具つき賃貸ってクソみたいなのしか無いよな

bedも机も洗濯機も最低限度のやつ

2018-05-23

Cats are sleeping on the bed

I'm writing on the chair.

Heavy rain.

Midnight.

2018-05-09

One day,I was sleeping in my bed.

AAAHHHHHHHHHH!

I threw a fool.

2017-11-20

anond:20171120210443

エアコンフローリングだけってことないです?

ストーブ嫌なら、ホットカーペットか、電気ひざ掛け、着る毛布、いろいろあるよ。

BED冷たいなら電気式毛布は?アカデミック湯たんぽもいいですね。

2015-01-18

ゲイの脳の構造女性に近いからじゃね?

http://anond.hatelabo.jp/20150118145812

http://www2.bpe.es.osaka-u.ac.jp/ackamaracka/gay.php

アメリカのSalk研究所のLeVay S.教授によると、脳の一部の“視床下部”という部位で差があるという報告が出ています

オランダ脳科学研究所のZhou JN教授らによると、視床下部の“the Bed Nucleus of the Stria Terminalis ”(略:BNST) という部分においても、同性愛者の人には特徴があるそうです。

この部分でも男女間で差があって、男性の方が女性より約1.4倍大きいということが分かっています。ですが、性同一性障害男性のBNSTは女性のBNSTとほぼ同じ大きさであるという報告が出ています

君もミサンドリー発揮する前に「脳 ゲイ 女性」でググると良いよー

2011-10-30

http://anond.hatelabo.jp/20111030021921

あなた外国人?何って書いてある? 読める?

読めなければ日本語の文法書と辞書を齧りながら解読してね。

You can refer this thread after you mastered Japanese language.

Nor you go to bed!! It`s too late.

2011-08-27

Keep on heading west on the highway.

I'm feeling very light today.

I need to get some fresh air.

There are clean towels on the bed.

2009-05-15

http://anond.hatelabo.jp/20090515175109

Bed bed = new Bed();

bed.add(taro);

bed.add(hanako);

room.setLightSwitch(SWITCH_STATUS_OFF);

return !taro.isCherry();

2009-05-06

新種の命令語を発見した。

プログラミングはよくわからないのだけれど、

命令語みたいなのを発見した。

命令するプログラムと実行するプログラムが別になってる。

Lost Milk

ってやると、

function getMilk(){

Take.Money(\200);

buy(Milk);

Return [Milk,Receipt]

}

みたいな感じ。状況を説明するだけで、自動プログラムが実行される。

>Odor

ってやると

function babyDiaper(){

var d = new Diaper(1);

var w = new WetTissue(10);

while(!changeDiaper(d,w)){

w++;

}

return[baby,bed];

}

なんか、既婚女性しか命令できないぽいです。

2008-12-08

Fucking Hostileの和訳 メモ

1, 2, 3, 4!

Almost every day

ほとんど毎日

I see the same face

同じ顔を

On broken picture tube

壊れたテレビで見るぜ

It fits the attitude

態度にピッタリだな

If you could see yourself

自分自身を見直してみろ

You put you on a shelf

自分のことを棚に上げながら

Your verbal masturbate

口先だけのオナニー

Promise to nauseate

ゲロみたいな約束なんだ、お前のやってることは

Today I'll play the part of non-parent

今日保護者の役はやれないな

Not make a hundred rules

100個もルールを作る気にもならない

For you to know about yourself

お前が自分自身についてわかるように

Not lie and make you believe

嘘なしで信じさせてやる

What's evil is making love

セックス

and making friends

友達も

and meeting God you're own way

神様に祈るのも悪いことさ

The right way

こいつが正しいんだ


(Chorus)

To see

見てみろ

To bleed

血を流してみろ

Cannot be taught

教えられることじゃねえ

In turn

次々に

You're making us

お前が俺を作ってるんだな

Ohhhh Fucking hostile

なんてお前は敵対的なんだ


We stand alone

俺たちは一人ぼっちってことさ


The truth in right and wrong

真実は間違ってるけど正しい

The boundaries of the law

法律すれすれのところで

You seem to miss the point

お前はしくじっちゃったみたいだな

Arresting for a joint?

マリファナに気づかれちまったのか?

You seem to wonder why

どうしてって聞きたいみたいだな

Hundreds of people die

何百もの人が死んでいって

You're writing tickets man

お前はその切符を書いてる

My mom got jumped -- they ran!

母親が飛ぶとあいつらは走るから

Now I'll play a public servant

警察と今遊んでるのさ


To serve and protect

奉仕して、守って

By the law and the state

法と国家によって

I'd bust the punks

パンク野郎をぶったおしてる

That rape steal and murder

盗み、強姦殺人

And leave you be

お前をそんなふうにして

If you crossed me

俺ともう一回会えるなら

I'd shake your hand like a man

人間にみたいに握手をしよう

Not a god

神じゃなくて


(Chorus)


Come meet your maker, boy

お前の親父に会わせろよ

Some things you can't enjoy

享受できないことだってあるさ

Because of heaven/hell

天国と地獄のせいさ

A fucking wives' tale

糞みたいな物語

They put it in your head

あいつらがお前の頭の中に入れて

Then put you in your bed

ベッドのそばで子守唄にする

He's watching say your prayers

お前のために祈ってる奴を見ろってあいつは言うなあ

Cause God is everywhere

神様はどこにでもいるからだってさ

Now I'll play a man learning priesthood

じゃあ俺は聖職者に付き従ってる男の役でもやってみよう

Who's about to take the ultimate test in life

誰が人生最大の問いなんてものを投げかけてきても

I'd question things because I am human

俺は人間だから答えてやろう

And call NO ONE my father who's no closer than a stranger

知らない奴より神様に近い奴なんていなんだ

I won't listen

聞きたくもないんだ


To see

見てみろ

To bleed

血を流してみろ

Cannot be taught

教えられることじゃねえ

In turn

次々に

You're making us

お前が俺をつくってるんだな

Fucking, fucking, fucking

糞みたいに

FUCKING HOSTILE!

お前は敵対的なんだ


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