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はてなキーワード: EXcelとは
英語の勉強傍ら、DeepLでの翻訳をもとに、英文化してみた。
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When I was in college, I had a part-time job writing moaning voices incessantly.
It was a part-time job at an erotic game company that I was introduced to by one of my seniors.
The company put a lot of effort into the story of their erotic games, and the writers who worked there were all people who took pride in their writing.
From their point of view, it was a pain to write the moaning voices in the sex scenes, so they decided to leave it to the part-time workers.
First, I was given the "gist" of the sex scene, such as "unzipping" or "moving hips faster.
2. I would then add my own moaning voices, such as "mmm ......" and "ahhhhhh", in a reasonable amount of salt.
3. the scenario writer checks it and it's done.
This may sound easy, but it is surprisingly difficult.
First of all, there is a certain length to an sex scene, so it is necessary to make it exciting precisely within that range.
The sounds used must be gradual, so that the audience does not get bored, and the excitement must be gradually increased.
It is also important to adjust the length of the text.
If the text is too short, it won't convey a sexual pleasure feeling, but if it is too long, the voice will become redundant.
In this way, a sense of balance and systematic pacing is required to get a bird's eye view of eroticism.
It was definitely not a job that I could just bang on the keyboard as I pleased.
My first work was a "younger sister" story, and I had a hard time allocating the "a" sound for the second sex scene.
If she said "aaaaah" from the beginning, it would sound like a seasoned whore's moaning voices, but if She said "an", it would not be erotic enough.
I finished it after much effort, but the writer said, "Couldn't you make it faster?” I'm disappointed.
As I was puzzling over what to do with ...... in front of the computer left by my predecessor (only the "A"key on the keyboard was strangely shiny), I noticed the existence of a file.
It was an Excel file titled "moaning-editor.xls," and it was a macro left by my predecessor specifically for making moaning voice.
By entering lines one by one in the vertically aligned cells, the phonetic elements such as vowels and consonants in each line were automatically converted into numerical values.
Furthermore, by adding and subtracting the numerical values, a value called "climax level" was calculated.
This "climax level" make a breakthrough to creating the ideal moaning voice.
If the sentence is constructed in such a way that this value gradually increases from the beginning to the end of the scene, the voice comes ideally.
It seemed that my predecessor had single-handedly created such an amazing and awesome Excel program.
I guess he wanted to share it with me, his successor, while hiding it from his boss as a secret tool.
Thanks to this tool, my work became much easier, and I could continue to make moving sounds with a stable quality.
One day, while I was working, I noticed something.
Theoretically, any text can be entered into the cell where the moaning voice is supposed input.
In other words to that, any text other than a moaning voice could be used to calculate the "climax level".
So I tried to calculate the "climax level" of famous works in the history of literature.
For example, "I have always called him teacher." for exampleis 12, and "He is reckless like his parents and has been doing nothing but losing money since he was a child. " is 30.
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I have always called him teacher.
Kokoro
Author , Natume Soseki
Out , in 1914
Story of distressed man who robbed lover from his friend by lying.
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He is reckless like his parents and has been doing nothing but losing money since he was a child.
Bocchan
Author , Natume Soseki
Out , in 1906
Story that revenge of one teacher, who was naughty boy in youth ,to nasty coworker.
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I hadn't expected this, but as I researched, I found that many of the masterpieces were written on the same principle as my work.
In other words, the degree of "climax" increases toward the end.
The most notable example is Akutagawa's "Nobody knows where the servant" is. The number of climaxes in this story is 367.
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Nobody knows where the servant
Author , Akutagawa Ryunosuke
Out , in 1915
Story of one fired servant struggle to survive and he decide throw aside his human conscience.
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The scene in which a drugged married woman faints with the whites of her eyes is at most 330, so you can see how astonishing the number is.
It turns out that "climax" is a universal rule that applies to all kinds of writing.
After realizing this fact, I started to write every sentence as if it were a gasp.
And I have been successful in every aspect of my life.
In job-hunting entry sheets, too, it is the distribution of the "climax level" that is important.
For example, in the education section, if you drop out of the university with the name that has the highest "climax level" and use it as your final education, it will look very different.
(It depends on the name of the university, but in general, "dropped out" has a higher climax level than "graduated.)
As some of you may have noticed, I've been writing this article in such a way as to gradually increase the climax level.
↑The climax level of this sentence is 290.
I'd like to end this sentence here, since it's getting quite high.
Ohhhh! Aaahhhh!
他人の作ったExcelシートは、まずそれを作った人の意図を読み取るところから始まるもんだと思うんだよな。
「入力しにくいなー」と思いつつも、意図を察する事ができれば「なるほど、じゃあこういう風に入力してけばいいのか」となる。
逆に言うとそれをしない、出来ない人は、シートの書式をブッ壊したり関数を無視したりする。
| 時間 | 記事数 | 文字数 | 文字数平均 | 文字数中央値 |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 00 | 107 | 10650 | 99.5 | 39 |
| 01 | 45 | 4850 | 107.8 | 31 |
| 02 | 9 | 1493 | 165.9 | 65 |
| 03 | 22 | 4230 | 192.3 | 37.5 |
| 04 | 22 | 2130 | 96.8 | 56 |
| 05 | 23 | 2754 | 119.7 | 62 |
| 06 | 34 | 2137 | 62.9 | 46 |
| 07 | 45 | 4654 | 103.4 | 45 |
| 08 | 107 | 9041 | 84.5 | 52 |
| 09 | 118 | 9562 | 81.0 | 42 |
| 10 | 129 | 12334 | 95.6 | 47 |
| 11 | 148 | 12980 | 87.7 | 44 |
| 12 | 241 | 24107 | 100.0 | 43 |
| 13 | 117 | 13082 | 111.8 | 50 |
| 14 | 174 | 23990 | 137.9 | 58.5 |
| 15 | 167 | 13621 | 81.6 | 43 |
| 16 | 181 | 15159 | 83.8 | 35 |
| 17 | 171 | 11302 | 66.1 | 37 |
| 18 | 157 | 10619 | 67.6 | 40 |
| 19 | 143 | 16385 | 114.6 | 33 |
| 20 | 152 | 11872 | 78.1 | 36 |
| 21 | 131 | 12149 | 92.7 | 41 |
| 22 | 146 | 18136 | 124.2 | 44 |
| 23 | 123 | 8453 | 68.7 | 23 |
| 1日 | 2712 | 255690 | 94.3 | 42 |
小熊(7), CLI(15), 礼子(5), スーパーカブ(20), CUI(8), 都立高校(6), 宗教差別(4), GUI(19), ＩＯＣ(7), ぱふぱふ(3), ガチオタ(3), 数値計算(3), ドラクエ(13), 反差別(15), 中卒(15), ちやほや(10), 五輪(34), BAN(7), Excel(6), 文法(6), コンピュータ(8), バイク(12), 論理的(12), 私立(14), 入試(9), キーボード(10), 開催(30), 接種(16), フィクション(18), オリンピック(41), 老害(16), 科学(19), 選手(17), ワクチン(39), B(34), 中止(21)
■いつまでコンピュータで消耗しなきゃならないの？ /20210527100955(32), ■酒タバコギャンブル薬以外で /20210527220752(24), ■スーパーカブは事故らない /20210527115035(24), ■そういう話じゃない スーパーカブ /20210526180451(20), ■チヤホヤされるのは嬉しいけど男はキモい /20210526202537(19), ■素手でうんこをつかまされた /20210527011354(14), ■anond：20210527000044 /20210527000429(13), ■ドラクエの愚痴。 /20210527161226(12), ■宗教差別ってあんまり話題に上がらない気がする /20210527034931(11), ■人類って案外賢くないのかも /20210527074616(11), ■ /20210526204209(10), ■職場での挨拶問題 /20210527195515(10), (タイトル不明) /20210527113140(9), ■ /20210526132741(9), ■あっさりマスコミの誘導に乗っちゃう人々 /20210526202046(8), ■セルクマはシステム上で禁止すべき /20210527093801(8), ■後発が劣化しているのに古いのを使うと老害と言われる例 /20210522105612(8), ■漫画家が歳をとるとめちゃくちゃ絵が下手になって悲しい /20210527150621(8), ■しなびた個人勢vtuberが好き /20210527160131(8), ■男は女のそういうところを見ている /20210527150810(7), ■世間は男の性欲を甘やかしすぎだろ /20210527153756(7), ■食事が好きすぎる /20210526234417(7), ■数学と、数式をプログラムに落とし込む書籍教えて欲しい /20210527102709(7), ■新人VTuberの毒島あかりと申します。 /20210527121410(7), ■もっとそういう話じゃない スーパーカブ anond：20210526180451 /20210527101944(7)
一昔前ならOpenOfficeとかでも行けんことはない。
でもそれを知らない人を見ても興味がないor必要としてこなかったんだとしか思わない。
「芸能人知らない自分異端アピールうざい」って話今日だけで１０回以上見たけど
逆に「全員が知っていることを前提としている（故に異端として成立する）」なんて仮定が浮かぶほど名の知れた存在なのか？
例えばExcelの使い方なんて中学高校で習う以上全員が知ってるはず。
しかも無償公開されてるわけだから少なくとも仕事で必要であるなら覚えない理由がないし、事実として知っている人は多い。
けど知らん人がいる事実は幾度となく見てきたから経験上「知らない人もいる」ってことは分かってる。
だから知らんって人がいても「そういう人いるよね」としか思わないし
「Excelできないとか異端アピールうざい」なんて言葉は聞いたことがない。
近年加熱するマスコミへの不信、ネットの普及による選択肢の豊富さなど考慮すれば芸能人なんて触れる機会がない人も多いと思うんだが
それでも冒頭のような言葉が飛び出すのが不思議というか、正直自分の視野の狭さを相手に押し付けてる図々しさが鼻につく。
Vtuberを知らない、プロゲーマーを知らない、国会議員を知らない、芸能人を知らない、嫌味をいうほど不思議か・・・？
自分が知らない側として意図しない嫌味を目にすることになり無性にイライラしたのでここにぶち撒けさせてもらった。
芸能人に限らず「知らない」ということを発信するのが全てウザいと感じる底意地の悪さによるのだとすれば、まぁ性格が悪いやつを見てイラついたというだけの話ではあるのだが。
全部くっつけたデータを公開すればいいだけなのに、それさえもない感じなんだもん…
ほんそれ。ワイ自治体で保育担当なんだけど，この界隈のデジタル化は未開の荒野といっていい。
国は全国津々浦々数千万人の保育料の半額を負担してるもんだから，各自治体に児童ごとの世帯収入とか年齢，入所先の報告を精密に求めるわけ。
うちの市から他市の保育園に通ってる児童がいる場合にそこの保育園の定員とか報告しなきゃいけないんだけど，その定員情報すら入手に一苦労なの！
逐一そこの自治体に聞かないといけないの！
ようやく厚労省の外郭団体が全国の保育園を網羅したCSV公開したけど，載 っ て な い の あ る し！！！！ばか！もうしらない！！！！
話がズレるけど、保育園落ちた日本史ね、の件があったこともあって、
あれも厚生労働省が全国の保育園情報を管理している感じではないんだよなあ
厚労省の下の厚生局とか、その更に下の地方自治体に丸投げで管理させてないか、と思ったんだよなあ
だって、厚労省側で地方自治体とかからの情報を全部吸い上げて、
全部くっつけたデータを公開すればいいだけなのに、それさえもない感じなんだもん…
地方自治体が公開しているExcelやWebのデータも誤字、マイナスとかハイフンとかがごちゃまぜ、
そのうえ住所を緯度経度変換すると住所も間違っていたり、もうマスターデータが無茶苦茶…
しかもコロナの保健所の話ではないけど、そういう情報吸い上げもFAXとか使っている感じみたいだし、
なんか保育園で事件が起こっても、そもそも厚労省には情報がないんだと思ったんだよなあ
「〜って保育園があるの？」
