同じ業種で趣味も好みも近い私たちは、中学の頃からずっと一緒だ。
画面に机が映れば、あれ欲しいねなんて言いながら。
でも「私があのデスクに手をついて、お尻を突き出していたらどうする?」なんて突然言うから。
我慢できなくなる、なんで?、だってえっちすぎるじゃん、じゃあ逆に貴方がしてたら私は無理矢理あそこを開いて、…
その時だけは、男にも女にもなったような気持ちに包まれている。
一切手も触れず、想像だけでいやらしい言葉を交わして、それで終わり。
その後はそれぞれ別の部屋に帰って、私は自分を慰めている(彼女がどうしているのかは、しらない)
そしてまた笑いあって、一緒の部屋で寝る。
私たちは夫婦のように過ごすけど、セックスだけはしない。でも性欲はある。
彼女は人に触れられるのが嫌いで、逆に私は好きだ。
他の人より少しおっきい乳輪、陥没乳首、腰に少しあざがあるこの姿を、愛しい彼女に見られたくない。
恥ずかしい姿を見せたくない気持ちが、実際はくだらない私を見せてがっかりさせたくない気持ちが、セックス欲よりも勝ってしまう。
過去に何回も男性に見せてきた裸を、どうしてこんなに彼女には見せたくないんだろう。
愛情表現が控えめな彼女は、愛の言葉よりも棘のある言葉の方が多いけど、
本当に大事なとき、喧嘩しちゃったとき、私が悲しんでいるときは、誰よりも大事にしてくれる。
私たちの親は二人で生きていくことを許してくれてはいるし、なんの不安もないはず。
でも、早くに生まれた友人の子供をみて「孫がほしいな…」と本音が出てしまった独り身の母と、
1回会っただけの行きずりの男と、揺れる車の中で「なんだ、こんなものか」と思ったあの日よりも、
気恥ずかしそうに笑う、のちの彼氏と一緒に帰ったバスの中よりも、今が一番幸せで、一番不安だ。
これを愛と信じているけど、自信はない。
おまえバッハだなーって
英語の勉強傍ら、DeepLでの翻訳をもとに、英文化してみた。
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When I was in college, I had a part-time job writing moaning voices incessantly.
It was a part-time job at an erotic game company that I was introduced to by one of my seniors.
The company put a lot of effort into the story of their erotic games, and the writers who worked there were all people who took pride in their writing.
From their point of view, it was a pain to write the moaning voices in the sex scenes, so they decided to leave it to the part-time workers.
First, I was given the "gist" of the sex scene, such as "unzipping" or "moving hips faster.
2. I would then add my own moaning voices, such as "mmm ......" and "ahhhhhh", in a reasonable amount of salt.
3. the scenario writer checks it and it's done.
This may sound easy, but it is surprisingly difficult.
First of all, there is a certain length to an sex scene, so it is necessary to make it exciting precisely within that range.
The sounds used must be gradual, so that the audience does not get bored, and the excitement must be gradually increased.
It is also important to adjust the length of the text.
If the text is too short, it won't convey a sexual pleasure feeling, but if it is too long, the voice will become redundant.
In this way, a sense of balance and systematic pacing is required to get a bird's eye view of eroticism.
It was definitely not a job that I could just bang on the keyboard as I pleased.
My first work was a "younger sister" story, and I had a hard time allocating the "a" sound for the second sex scene.
If she said "aaaaah" from the beginning, it would sound like a seasoned whore's moaning voices, but if She said "an", it would not be erotic enough.
I finished it after much effort, but the writer said, "Couldn't you make it faster?” I'm disappointed.
As I was puzzling over what to do with ...... in front of the computer left by my predecessor (only the "A"key on the keyboard was strangely shiny), I noticed the existence of a file.
It was an Excel file titled "moaning-editor.xls," and it was a macro left by my predecessor specifically for making moaning voice.
By entering lines one by one in the vertically aligned cells, the phonetic elements such as vowels and consonants in each line were automatically converted into numerical values.
Furthermore, by adding and subtracting the numerical values, a value called "climax level" was calculated.
This "climax level" make a breakthrough to creating the ideal moaning voice.
If the sentence is constructed in such a way that this value gradually increases from the beginning to the end of the scene, the voice comes ideally.
It seemed that my predecessor had single-handedly created such an amazing and awesome Excel program.
I guess he wanted to share it with me, his successor, while hiding it from his boss as a secret tool.
Thanks to this tool, my work became much easier, and I could continue to make moving sounds with a stable quality.
One day, while I was working, I noticed something.
Theoretically, any text can be entered into the cell where the moaning voice is supposed input.
In other words to that, any text other than a moaning voice could be used to calculate the "climax level".
So I tried to calculate the "climax level" of famous works in the history of literature.
For example, "I have always called him teacher." for exampleis 12, and "He is reckless like his parents and has been doing nothing but losing money since he was a child. " is 30.
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I have always called him teacher.
Kokoro
Author , Natume Soseki
Out , in 1914
Story of distressed man who robbed lover from his friend by lying.
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He is reckless like his parents and has been doing nothing but losing money since he was a child.
Bocchan
Author , Natume Soseki
Out , in 1906
Story that revenge of one teacher, who was naughty boy in youth ,to nasty coworker.
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I hadn't expected this, but as I researched, I found that many of the masterpieces were written on the same principle as my work.
In other words, the degree of "climax" increases toward the end.
The most notable example is Akutagawa's "Nobody knows where the servant" is. The number of climaxes in this story is 367.
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Nobody knows where the servant
Author , Akutagawa Ryunosuke
Out , in 1915
Story of one fired servant struggle to survive and he decide throw aside his human conscience.
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The scene in which a drugged married woman faints with the whites of her eyes is at most 330, so you can see how astonishing the number is.
It turns out that "climax" is a universal rule that applies to all kinds of writing.
After realizing this fact, I started to write every sentence as if it were a gasp.
And I have been successful in every aspect of my life.
In job-hunting entry sheets, too, it is the distribution of the "climax level" that is important.
For example, in the education section, if you drop out of the university with the name that has the highest "climax level" and use it as your final education, it will look very different.
(It depends on the name of the university, but in general, "dropped out" has a higher climax level than "graduated.)
As some of you may have noticed, I've been writing this article in such a way as to gradually increase the climax level.
↑The climax level of this sentence is 290.
I'd like to end this sentence here, since it's getting quite high.
Ohhhh! Aaahhhh!
ニュースといったら事件のイメージだが、そもそも事件のニュースなんて流す意味があるのか?
政治系のニュース→選挙で政党を選ぶとき参考にする(政治家叩きの道具になっている気がするが)
経済系のニュース→株をやってる人には売り買いのタイミングになる
芸能系のニュース→いらない。芸能人自身がSNSで発信できなかった時代の名残
事件系のニュースは「誰が人を殺しました。強盗しました。虐待死させました。火事で死にました。交通事故で死にました。猥褻行為をしました。」というのが多い。
それを見せられてどうすりゃいいのってわけ。
例えば統計で児童虐待がこれだけ増えていて、予防するにはこうしろ。身近に虐待児がいたらこう助けろ。みたいな話ならわかる。
1つの事例だけ取り上げられて、特に対処法とか視聴者の行動を示すわけでもなく、凄惨な出来事を語るだけ。
どこかで誰かが人を殺した事実が我々の人生にどう影響するのと言いたい。
「いやいや事件に遭遇しないように気をつけるために見るんだよ」という意見もあるが、
気を付けようがない。犯人が仮に近所を逃走中なら地方紙のみで扱え。
それに本気で気を付ける振り込め詐欺の話題の時は「被害額がいくら増えていて手口がこうだからこう防ぐ」とか統計に基づき行動を示すじゃん。
つまりそれ以外のニュースは啓蒙でもなく事実をあげつらってるだけってわけ。
マジメを建前に現実のネタでエログロナンセンスを楽しんでいるようにしか見えない。
いじけちゃってかわいい
よし、転職だ…!
増田はなんでそんなに頑張ったのかが謎すぎる。
そのパワハラ社長の会社でやってる限り、増田がそのプロジェクト成功させたところで大したリターンないよな?
手を抜いたら減給になるというのなら仕方ないけど…それにしても頑張りすぎ。
妻「お昼ごはん何がいい?」
妻「そんなこと無いよ、食べたいもの言ってよ」
俺「じゃあラーメン(家で作るやつ)」
妻「えーラーメン」
俺「な、否定するだろ、なんでもいいよ」
俺「それでいいよ」
なんなんこのムダな会話…
さて、もう今の会社はやめたくて転職活動をしているのだが、まだ転職先が決まらないので万一どこも決まらなかったら困るのでちゃんと仕事をしないとならない。
…という考え方は普通じゃないのだろうか?
普通辞めたくなったらもう適当に仕事をして転職活動に集中するもんなんだろうか?
ゆたぽんさんあの年齢ですでに完全にヤ〇ザ顔なのがすごいw