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Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year old white male, resident of Wimbledon, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 pm Friday. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop.You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn’t.” He stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail.

Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his allegedneed.”

“I guess I was just really into it, you know?” he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the Wimbledon Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure.” Said officer Taylor. “I walked up to [Davidson] and he’s … just working away at this pumpkin.” Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Davidson.

“I just went up and said, ‘Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?’ He got real surprised as you’d expect and then looked me straight in the face and said, ‘A pumpkin? Damn … is it midnight already?'”




そして何より腹立たしいのが、大学でこんな文章課題に出す講師存在だ。どうせ拾ってきたんだろう、とググると数秒で見つかる。https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/peter-peter-pumpkin-pleaser/ とかね。どう見てもやっつけ仕事だ。




「おそらく 7:3 位で女性が多いです。同じ学科で毎年同じ講師なので、毎年こんな感じだと思うんですが……」


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