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2023-10-23

電車に乗ってたら駆け込んできた女に"Is it two!?"て聞かれた

何のことか分からんくてえって顔しちゃったんだけど、居合わせた客が "Yes two here"と言ったのであーこの電車何番線か聞いたのか、と理解できた

やすごいな、とっさの言い回しそんな解るなんて。英語全然わからんわ。

ネイティブの本気の発音がきつい

例えば

I got to get out of here

っていう表現があるとして

・アィ ガラ ゲッラウトヒゥ

くらいならまあ縮める気持ちもわかるし全然勉強する気になる

・アガラ ゲラウヒュ

くらいになるともうちっとちゃん発音してくださいって思う

っていうかワイのスキルでは聞き取り無理ンゴ

日本語で言うと ッスゾォラー! とか アザス! くらいの縮め方なんかねこれって

2023-10-22

インド女性キャスターイスラエル解説からあなた衣装パレスチナ色だ」と難癖をつけられ放った反論がかっこよかった

先日インドテレビ局で、イスラエル側とパレスチナ側、双方の解説者を招いて話を聞く番組放送された。

イスラエルからフレデリックという軍の情報特殊部隊の人が出演した。

彼はイスラエル軍の行為正当性ハマスによる被害を強い言葉で訴えて最後番組批判に話を持っていった。

あなたたちの番組は何を放送しているのか。ハマスの虚偽の主張になぜ正当性を与えているのか。私達の主張には証拠がある。客観的にならなければならない。パレスチナプロパガンダを止めなければ。あなたは良い側にいるのか悪い側にいるのか、善か悪か、光と闇のどちら側か。あなたがどこに座ってどこに立っているのか決めてください。

私はあなた今日着ている服の色をしっかり認識しています。だから私はあえて青と白の服を着ている。なぜならあなたが今夜意図的に緑や赤や黒をリスペクトして身につけているから。青と白が常に最後は勝つのです」

インド人の女性キャスターはあっけにとられながらもイスラエル解説者に冷静に呼びかけた。

フレデリック宗教に基づいて色で分けるのはやめましょう。インドでも時々あることですがやめましょう」

そして番組を進行させパレスチナ側の解説者に話を振り、パレスチナ解説者の話が終わる頃、イスラエル側が攻撃的に話に割り込んできたので、女性キャスター今日服装について反論を始めた。

フレデリック、双方がお互いをプロパガンダだと非難しているから、私は二人の意見を聞きたかったんです。また、フレデリックに言っておくと、私が今夜着ている服はサリーで、私の祖母のものです。もし彼女が生きていたら、今日で105歳くらいになっていたでしょう。彼女イスラエルハマス紛争が何なのか知らなかったし、このサリーは決してどちら側を支持するという意味ではありません。ガザで起きていること、病院への爆撃、約500人の死者は、単に犯罪的なことです。私が今着ているのは、単に祖母サリーです。それ以外の意味はありません」

イスラエル解説者はキャスターの話を聞いて「別の機会に着てください」と訴えた。

女性キャスターはそれを受けてこう答えた。

フレデリックあなたに私の着るものを選ばせたり、私の言うことを選ばせたりするつもりはありません。言うべきことは言うし、見たままの真実を話します。もちろん、真実にはさまざまなバージョンがあるでしょう。イスラエルから発信されるバージョンもあれば、ガザから発信されるバージョンもある。私たちはその両方を発信してきた。それが私たちジャーナリスティック義務なんです、フレデリック

 

女性キャスターは旧Twitterにこう投稿した。

 

一方、イスラエル解説者は旧Twitterにこう投稿した。

 

以上はYouTubeの以下の動画AI文字起こしを、BingAIで文節を区切らせ、DeepLで翻訳し、書いたものです。

Israel Hamas War: TV Anchor's Saree Upsets Israeli Guest during a Live debate, here is what happened - YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3J7yqyMCKA

Israeli guest tells TV anchor wearing grandmother’s green and red saree to ‘save it for another occasion’ | The Independent

https://www.independent.co.uk/asia/india/mirror-now-host-india-frederic-landau-israel-b2432271.html

2023-10-16

anond:20231015180758

そう。here と同じような副詞としての用法で I'm home 「ただいま」と言ったのに、home をわざと house意味解釈して I'm home を I am a house「私は家だ」と(無理やり)解釈して、Hi! home 「やあ、家さん」と返したという、小学校低学年が喜びそうなやつねw

あ、でもよく考えたら、home に a がついてないから、I'm home を I'm a house意味で取るのは厳密には無理だわ。これ、もっと正確に言うと、 I'm home 「ただいま」と言ったのを I'm Home 「私はホーム(という名前)です」と取って Hi, Home 「やあ、ホームさん」と返したと考えると a が無いところまで辻褄が合うわ。 (まあ、そんな細かいことはこの際どーでもええんやけどw)

2023-10-15

anond:20231015135942

自分が持ってる感じはこれに近いなI'm herehereの代わりにhomeになったみたいな。

Hi home意味わからんかったけどそういうことか。

2023-09-21

9月17日 GRAPEVINE SUMMER SHOW@SOUND SHOWER ark清水9月18日 大阪城音楽堂

2日連続で行ったのでまとめて感想書く。

清水ライブハウスソウルドアウト公演だったので入場時から何度も前へ一歩ずつ詰めるよう言われるが自分より前が詰めないので結果的に全く詰まらないと言う現象が起こっていた…。まぁ詰めたくない気持ちは分かるけど…。何だかなぁと言う気もしなくはなかった。

野音座席表で見た感じ真ん中ら辺だったかアニキから微妙に遠いかもと思ったけどいざ入ってみたらほぼアニキ前だったので良かった(?)と言うかこういう指定席で初めて自分の名義でアニキ側を引いた気がする。大体指定席は金やん側or真ん中辺りなので…笑

とりあえず印象に残った曲の感想等。

·冥王星c/wの割に登場率かなり高いかバンド内で気に入られてるのかな?盛り上がるしね。

·スレドニ・ヴァシュターの出だしのギター、本当にヤバかった!!清水でニヤニヤ止まらなくてずっとニヤニヤしてた(怖)

·Ready〜、何曲かやった未発表の新曲群の中で一番好きな感じだった。アニキギターがカッコいい、あと亀ちゃんっぽい曲だな〜と感じたが実際はどうかは分からない。

·NOS、アニキ田中さんが向き合って弾く見せ場(?)があって盛り上げる為に頑張ってんのかなと思った(すごい性格悪い感想)

·想うということ、イントロアニキギター大好きなので聴けて嬉しい。

·雀の子ライブ映えがすごい!!ツアーで更に進化する(であろう)のワクワク過ぎる。

·This Town、田中さんアニキギター息ぴったりで最高に気持ち良い。

·Good bye my world、毎回ライブでやって欲しいぐらいライブ聴くのが好き過ぎる!!清水トリップしまくった…笑

·Glareがまたライブで聴けるとは…!!何と言う最高のセットリスト…!!

·B.D.S.でアニキスライドギターが間近で見れて最高…。清水ではアニキ側もまん中辺りも来てくれてガン見した笑 野音は照明当たってなくて真っ暗だったの勿体なかったな…。その変わり(?)亀ちゃんにめちゃくちゃ照明当たってたの面白かった。

·清水SPFReverb放浪フリーク大阪放浪フリークSPF→Alrightだった。Reverbキーが高くて田中さんの声が割りと限界っぽい感じなの、結構好きなんだよね。無理して出してる高音って苦手なんだけどこれは別。SPFはこの夏バズったみたいな話を田中さんがしてたけどバズってたの??全然知らないんだが…笑 放浪フリークは野外で聴くの本当気持ち良かった〜。アニキギターがめちゃくちゃ映える。

以下、ライブを観た感想結構微妙な事も書いてるのでお気を付け下さい…。嘘は書きたくないので…。

行く迄は結構複雑な心境で楽しみって気持ちでもなかったけど、清水で観て感じたのはやっぱりバインライブは最高!と言う事だった。何より私はアニキギターが大好き。そしてアニキを始め、亀ちゃん高野さん金戸さんがここに居てくれて良かったなと強く実感した。正直まだ田中さんを沢山視界に入れるのは個人的に厳しかったけど…。ライブの楽しさも全て興醒めしそうで…。でも今はそれで良いんだと私は思っている。歌は好きだし、いつかはそんな感情もなくなりはせずとも薄れていくだろう。もう曲が良くて、アニキギターは最高で、ライブが楽しければ現状私は文句ないので。個人的清水の方が好きなライブだったけど、野音も良かったし何より去年のリベンジも果たせたので終わり良ければ全て良しかなと。10月新譜ライブ純粋に楽しみだなという気持ちです。

あと本当どうでも良い話だけど、清水ライブハウス横(?)の喫煙所田中さんが居てびっくりした。ちょっと目が合った(お互い人が居たら見ちゃうよねってやつ)ので気付いてない振りして通り過ぎた。何か田中さん結構遭遇するな〜と思ったけど(RSR、森道)アニキも何回か遭遇した事あるんだよな…。どちらも一回も声かけたことないけど…。

最後セットリスト(某所からお借りしました)

UB(You be on it)

冥王星

スレドニ・ヴァシュター

Ready to get started?

目覚ましはいつも鳴りやまない

NOS

想うということ

ねずみ浄土

の子

here

This Town

The Long Bright Dark

Goodbye,Annie

Good bye my world

Glare

B.D.S.

E.N

清水

SPF

Reverb

放浪フリーク

大阪

放浪フリーク

SDF

Alright

2023-09-20

遊佐未森の思い出

好きなものを語りたくて、中学生当時、遊佐未森CD出会った思い出とか色々書いてみたものの、自分語り気持ちいからやっぱり全部消してしまった。

せっかくの出会いだと思って、ちょっと見てって。

代表曲地図をください」

遊佐未森を知らない人でも、シュワルツェネッガーが青い空の下で赤い車を持ち上げてるカップヌードルCMは知ってると思う。

あれで使われてたのが、遊佐未森の「地図をください」という楽曲

しかも使われた部分がサビじゃなくてAメロという面白さ。

CM雰囲気に合わせたんだと思うけど、あれはぜひ一曲通して聞いてほしい。

なんならそれだけで小旅行できちゃった気持ちになれるから

好きだからっていう贔屓目もあるけど、今聞いても全く色褪せてないの本当にすごいと思う。

かく言う自分も、15年くらい遊佐未森という言葉を忘れていた。

子供が成長して、書斎子供部屋に変えるということになったとき断捨離できなかった彼女CDを見つけて掃除BGMにしてみたのがきっかけ。

大体1988年から1993年作品なんだけど全然ふるさを感じさせないし、何なら最近個性派アーティストって紹介のされ方されても納得できるくらいに流行りに左右されない曲調だっていうことを、2023年再確認するとは思ってもなかった。

おすすめ楽曲

どれも好きすぎてランキングは作れないけど、せっかくだから10曲チョイスしてみる。

あくまで好みの話であって、名曲順ではない。

増田が好きなのはこんな曲なんだなって感じで見てほしい。

・M氏の幸福

・川

・夏草の線路

空色帽子

・山行きバス

・きみのなかに

旅人

ふたり記憶

・一粒の予感

星屑停留所

・0の丘無限の空

ときの駅

・I'm here with you

街角

10曲でおさまるわけなかった。

これでも厳選ライブラリ40曲くらいから絞り込んだ。

検索すればすぐに出てくるような代表曲も避けた。

並び順は好きな曲順でもなければ、年代作品バラバラに書いてある。

理由彼女作品の幅とかを先入観なく聞いてほしいから。だからあえて曲紹介もつけない。

・マイベスト3曲

全曲好きすぎるなかで、どうしても別格なのがこの三曲

シリウス

Destination

・桃

これが名曲だという意味でもなければ、人に勧めたいという曲でもない。

自分がこの3曲がどうしても好きだという表明。

どうしてかこの三曲琴線を鷲掴みにされてしまった。

久々に聞いても魂が静まるのがわかるくらいに落ち着く曲。

遊佐未森限定しない、人生で好きな3曲がこれ。(15年も忘れてたくせに。)

柔道部岡田くん

当時、中高通してアニメ研究所属自分とは住む世界が違う人間だと思ってたけど、たまたま席が近くなったときCDプレイヤーを聞いてたら声をかけてきた柔道部エース岡田くんは元気だろうか。

高校の終わり頃、J-pop全盛時代個性派アーティストを聞いてることを馬鹿にされるのが嫌で断ろうと思ったけど、そういう雰囲気でもなさそうだったので聞かせてみたところ目をキラキラに輝かせて感動してくれてめちゃくちゃ嬉しかった。

遊佐未森以外にも近藤名奈の「こんな日は早起きしてあなたに会いたい」でも盛り上がって、まさか高校の終わり頃にこんなに仲の良い友達ができるとは思ってもなかった。

オタク差別されるのが嫌で自分から壁を作っていたけど、差別してくるに違いないと色眼鏡で人を差別していたのは自分だったんだなと気付かされた出来事

彼との出会いがなかったら、人並みの人付き合いができないまま全く違った人生を歩んでいたと思う。

それをつないでくれた遊佐未森と、色眼鏡をかけていたのは自分だったと気づかせてくれた岡田くんへの感謝あらためて増田の片隅に。

2023-09-17

英語での自己紹介最後、「ここは一つよろしく」で締めたい

Here, one please.

でいいよな?

2023-09-02

anond:20230902115737

英語ももちろんあるよ

ant(アリ) aunt(叔母)

be(いる・ある) bee(ハチ)

bear(クマ) bare(裸の・むき出しの)

break(壊す) brake(ブレーキ)

cell(細胞独房) sell(~を売る)

dear(親愛なる・大切な) deer(シカ)

eye(目) I(私)

for(〜のために) four(4)

flower(花) flour(小麦粉)

hear(聞く) here(ここ)

heel(かかと) heal(~を癒す)

knight(騎士) night(夜)

meet(会う) meat(肉)

one(1) won(勝った)

our(私たちの) hour(時)

plane(飛行機) plain(平らな・簡素な)

right(正しい・右) write(書く)

see(~を見る) sea(海)

sun(太陽) son(息子)

tail(しっぽ) tale(物語)

two(2) too(〜も・〜すぎる)

wait(待つ) weight(重さ)

weak(弱い) week(週)

2023-08-16

YouTube「にんげんTalkチャンネル著作権利者の承諾を得ているのかどうか?

デブガリ食事交換、ありえない結果 (950万回再生)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMd_jjKe9wM

という動画が(再度)バズっているけど、これは概要欄に Supersize vs Superskinny と堂々と(?)記してある通り、下記の人気動画シリーズ日本語編集したもの

Supersize Vs Super Skinny Series 5 Ep 2 (250万回再生)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJxSKyDQpl8

この日本語版をアップした「にんげんTalkチャンネルは、海外のバズった動画をたくさん日本語編集公開してるんだけど、少なくとも正式著作権利者の承諾を得ている様子はまったくうかがえないよ。明確な例はこちら。

にんげんTalkチャンネルによる動画:

零下70度の環境での生活はどんな体験なのだろうか?ここにはなんと学校があり、体育では狩猟を学ぶ (1.9万回再生)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ao_8WDAH58

サムネイルオリジナル:

COLDEST PLACE on Earth (-71°C, -96°F) Why people live here? | Oymyakon, Russia (300万回再生)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFWtQ5AV0vg

本編のオリジナル:

One Day in the Coldest Village on Earth | Yakutia (4100万回再生)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj5GXZaE7qs



表に見えていないだけで実はちゃん著作権者に承諾を得ている可能性はなくもないけど、だったら堂々とその旨まで含めて掲示してほしいよね。

(もっとも、後者の例では、キャッチーサムネだけを使わせてくれという品のない申し出を、気骨あるロシア人YouTuberのEliが快く受け入れるとは思いがたい)



以下蛇足:

「にんげんTalk」に限らず怪しい海外動画チャンネルは他にもたくさんあるけど、日本語翻訳して字幕を添えて部分的編集までして日本視聴者に届ける労力は、本来は正当に評価されるべき立派な貢献だと思う。ちゃん交渉して正式に承諾を得てビジネスとして成り立たせることは十分に可能なんじゃないかな。

2023-08-06

anond:20230806033255

やれやれ反論できないか英語マウント取るしかないとか情けねえな

I looked through the state of the union you mentioned but it's actually a lot more informal than you made it out to be. I thought you were talking about a full fledged formal writing like legal documents, but this is definitely nowhere close to that. I can see why Biden used "going to" in this speech since it's fairly colloquial (though not over the top, just the right amount of colloquial language so the entire nation can understand it without difficulty) and thus falls well within the semantic range of the phrase "going to".

As my Dad used to say, a job is about a lot more than a paycheck. It’s about your dignity. It’s about respect. It’s about being able to look your kid in the eye and say, “Honeyit’s going to be OK,” and mean it.

https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2023/02/07/remarks-of-president-joe-biden-state-of-the-union-address-as-prepared-for-delivery/

Also

I write more in English than Japanese. Have been for over 10 years.

Yet you've made a basic grammar mistake here, oh well : "some people take being proficient in one language not being in another"

Should've written like this "some people are proficient in one language but not in another"

2023-08-01

anond:20230801140703

すまん。勝手翻訳した。拡散はどうするかな。redditかに投稿するのがいいのか?

----

I have seen some posts asking if they should talk about "the case" even though they were not involved in it and were not born in Nagasaki or Hiroshima, and I am a bit aware of it, so I have to say what I have to say. I say this because I was born in Nagasaki, am a third generation atomic bomb survivor, and grew up hearing the stories of those who experienced the atomic bombing firsthand. I know it's a little bit too much for me, but I'm going to say this because there are very few survivors left.

In Nagasaki, children grow up hearing stories about the atomic bombing. They were stuffed into sushi for nearly an hour in the gymnasium of an elementary school in the middle of summer, with no air conditioner or fan, and told stories about the atomic bombing. That was a hard time for me. I think it must have been even harder for the old people who told the stories, but there was no way an elementary school kid could imagine such a thing, and I had forgotten most of the stories I had been told for a long time. I have forgotten most of the stories I was told. I can only remember one or two at most. There is one more hard thing. Every year around this time, a row of grotesque images that would drive the PTA crazy in other areas are prominently displayed in the hallways. These days, I hear that the atomic bomb museum has been bleached out and many of the radical and horrifying exhibits that traumatized visitors have been taken down. I don't know if they are still there, but they were there when I was in elementary school.

There was one photo that I just couldn't face when I was in elementary school. It is a picture of Sumiteru Taniguchi. If you search for it, you can find it. It is a shocking picture, but I would like you to take a look at it. I couldn't pass through the hallway where the photo was posted, so I always took the long way around to another floor of the school building to avoid seeing the photo.

Now I'm thinking that my grandfather, who headed into the burnt ruins to look for his sister, couldn't have turned away or taken a different path. There would have been a mountain of people still alive and moaning, not just pictures, and a mountain more who would have given up at the end of their suffering. He walked for miles and miles, towing his handcart through the narrow streets of rubble-strewn Nagasaki in search of his sister. My grandfather was not a child at the time, but of course there were children who did similar things. Not that there wouldn't have been. There were. I heard the story from him, and I still remember it. A young brother and sister found their father's body in the ruins of a fire and they burned it. They didn't have enough wood to burn his body, and when they saw the raw brain that spilled out, they ran away and that was the last time they ever saw him anymore.

I can never forget the story I heard when I was a kid, and even now it is painful and painful, my hands are shaking and I am crying. I keep wondering how the old man who escaped from that father's brain could have been able to unravel the most horrible trauma imaginable and expose it to the public with scars that will never heal.

Now I think I can understand a little.

The reason I can't help but talk about my grandfather and that old man, even if I have to rehash my own trauma, is that this level of suffering is nothing compared to the fact that their words will be forgotten. My hands shaking, my heart palpitating and dizzy, my nose running with tears, it's nothing compared to the tremendous suffering that was once there and will be forgotten.

So maybe it's the same thing.

My grandfather, who went through an unimaginable hell, lived to see his grandchildren born, and met his sister's death in the ruins of the fire. In other words, my grandfather was one of the happiest people in the ruins of the fire. My grandfather and that old man were, after all, just people wading in the depths of hell. I think that the suffering that even people who had experienced unimaginable pain could not imagine was lying like pebbles in Nagasaki 78 years ago, and no one paid any attention to it. Their suffering, which I can't even imagine, is nothing compared to the countless, tremendous suffering they witnessed, which they pretend never happened.

Memories fade inexorably every time people talk about them. The memories that those people could not allow to be forgotten are now largely forgotten; the tremendous suffering of 78 years ago is mostly gone, never to be recounted again. Those who suffered the most from the atomic bombing died rotting in the ruins of the fire, unable to tell anyone about it. Many of those who saw it with their own eyes kept their mouths shut and took it with them to their graves. Most of those who spoke a few words are now under the grave.

Compared to the words of the old men, my own words are so light. I would rather keep my mouth shut than speak in such light words. But still, someone has to take over. I realize that even my words, which are so light, are only the top of the voices that are left in this world to carry on the story of the atomic bombing. I know how it feels to wonder if someone like myself is allowed to speak about this. Still, I hope that you will not shut your mouth. This is the result of our silence.

Sometimes I almost choose to stop imagining the unimaginable suffering and live my life consuming other people's suffering for the fun of it. I am writing this while I still have some imagination of the suffering of the old people whose voices, faces, and even words I can no longer recall.

Translator's note: The original post in Japanese is a response to a post by a Japanese contributor who wondered if he was qualified to speak out on the subject of the A-bomb when he was not from Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but still spoke out about Barbie and the A-bomb. I translated it here because I think it deserves to be read by the world.

anond:20230801140703

ai翻訳

I must talk about various things regarding the Barbie incident.

I saw a post about it from someone who is neither directly involved nor from Nagasaki or Hiroshima, and it made me realize that there are things I must say.

I was born in Nagasaki and grew up listening to stories from the survivors, being a third-generation survivor myself. Most survivors are no longer with us, so I feel compelled to speak up.

In Nagasaki, kids grow up hearing about the atomic bomb. We were packed like sushi in a gymnasium without air conditioning or even fans during the scorching summer, and we listened to stories about the bomb. It was incredibly tough for me.

I imagine it was even harder for the elderly who spoke about their experiences. As a child, I couldn't fully comprehend their pain, and now, I can hardly remember most of the stories I heard. I can only recall one or two.

Every year during this time, gruesome images that would make PTA elsewhere go crazy were displayed in the hallways. I heard that many of the horrifying exhibits that used to traumatize visitors at the Atomic Bomb Museum have been removed, and the museum has been considerably sanitized. I'm not sure about the current situation, but that's how it was when I was there.

There was one photograph that I could never bear to look at as a child – a picture of Tadashi Taniguchi. You can find it if you search, but it's a shocking image with a viewer discretion warning. Still, I want people to see it.

I couldn't walk down the hallway where that photo was displayed, and I always took a different route, avoiding it so I wouldn't have to see it.

Now, I think of my grandpa who went to the ruins to search for my sister. He couldn't look away or take a different path. The pain must have been unimaginable.

Besides photographs, there were many living people moaning in pain back then, and there must have been even more who succumbed to suffering.

My grandpa walked for miles, pulling a handcart through the debris-laden streets of Nagasaki, searching for my sister.

Even though my grandpa was not a child, I'm sure there were elementary school kids who did similar things. I don't just think they might have been there; they were there. I heard the stories from the people themselves, and I still remember them.

I can't forget the stories I heard as a child, such as the young siblings finding their father's burnt corpse in the ruins and cremating him. They didn't have enough firewood, and their father ended up half-burnt. They ran away after seeing the brain tissue oozing out, and that became their final farewell.

I can never forget those stories I heard as a child, and even now, they still bring pain and suffering, making my hands tremble and tears flow.

I wonder how my grandpa, who ran away from that father's brain tissue, could expose his unimaginable trauma and everlasting scars to the world.

Now, I feel like I understand a little.

Even someone like me, who experienced such unimaginable trauma, has gone through pain that I can't even imagine being compared to being discarded, forgotten, and ignored. Compared to what those people experienced, my suffering means nothing.

My trembling hands and the palpitations and dizziness I experienced are nothing compared to the tremendous pain that many others went through.

Memories fade irreversibly every time they pass through people's lips. The memories that I couldn't bear to be forgotten are almost forgotten now.

The unimaginable pain that existed 78 years ago has mostly disappeared, and we can no longer pass it on.

The people who suffered the most from the atomic bomb perished in the ruins, rotting away without being able to convey it to anyone.

Even those who saw it with their own eyes mostly took the memories with them to their graves. Most of them are now under the tombstones.

Compared to the words of the elderly, my words seem so light. I think that speaking with such light words would be better than keeping silent, as silence has led to this result.

I feel like I might occasionally choose to stop imagining the unimaginable pain and consume the suffering of others in an amusing way to live on.

Before I forget the pain and suffering of those elderly people, whose faces and voices I can no longer recall, I will leave this here.

2023-07-18

ピザって10回言って」

「pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza」

「じゃあここは?」

here

2023-07-11

anond:20230710122859

アメリカ企業事務やってる熟女チャンネルみたら、提出物の依頼に返信がなかったり「here you goしか返してこなくてムキー!みたいなおばさんの動画があったよ

万国共通なんだね😊

anond:20230710123401

アメリカ企業事務やってる熟女チャンネルみたら、提出物の依頼に返信がなかったり「here you goしか返してこなくてムキー!みたいなおばさんの動画があったよ

万国共通なんだね😊

2023-07-02

https://twitter.com/ElonMuskAOC/status/1675268446089773056

The reason I set a “View Limit” is because we are all Twitter addicts and need to go outside.

I’m doing a good deed for the world here.

Also, that’s another view you just used.

による英語から翻訳

私が「閲覧制限」を設定した理由は、私たちは皆 Twitter 中毒者なので、外に出る必要があるからです。

私はここで世界のために善行を行っています

また、これは先ほど使用した別のビューです。

2023-06-18

anond:20230618010533

原文

Japan review

Japan review it's been a year since I

moved to Japan and I thought it made

sense to finally rate Japan I will talk

about things I like and the things I

don't like which seems to be the only

two options available if you have

opinions about this country

so sugoi or did you know Japan is

actually really bad it's got a lot of

survival issues okay I will list one

good thing and bad thing and I will not

hold back there's no trash bins

where I'm gonna put my trash

I have to put in my pocket

oh

there's always these generic things that

you hear or yes when we you visit it's

kind of weird but then you realize it's

not a big deal anyway let's start off

with number one reason I like Japan

it feels like a giant playground no I

don't mean in the Logan Paul kind of

sense of doing whatever the hell you

want

but rather there's a infinite things all

right lazy feels like to explore and

experience and I've been here a year now

and I don't think I'm gonna get bored

anytime soon although I am having a

child so I don't know how much more I

have time to experience

but it really feels like a whole new

world and if you visited you can

probably relate to it and I'm glad that

even a year in it still feels incredibly

fresh and I even would say that you

realize that the best part of Japan

aren't the touristy places kind of

obviously but there are so many areas

that I found that I really enjoy

visiting and this is probably more

specific to me but you know Tokyo is

very busy and so many times I just catch

myself surrounded by what feels like

hundreds of people and they have no idea

who I am

everyone is just doing their own thing

and that feels so [ __ ] good

now once it was staring at me no one's

following me no one's being weird you

guys are weird and I'm just kidding I

just love the feeling of being able to

exist in public and uh not worrying

about what everyone else is doing like

I've said this before but I genuinely

enjoy talking to fans or when people

approach me it always makes me happy but

it can be kind of frustrating to always

wanting to just do your own thing and

always be

you know so yeah let's move on to the

bad things of Japan number one reason

Japan is bad it's kind of a heavy

subject and I haven't seen anyone else

really talk about it it's not brought up

very often at least and that is cones

there's too many cones in Japan once you

see it you cannot unsee it they're

everywhere they say oh Japan has so many

vending machines there's like five per

one person no the opposite

there's more cones than people why are

there so many cones I need to know we

got the tall ones we got the small ones

we got the funny ones the cute ones the

sexy ones I do like those I just don't

understand that whoever plays these

cones think I'm just gonna barge through

oh thank God there's cones here

otherwise I had no idea what I was gonna

and I realized the cone history of Japan

stretches centuries okay if you played

Animal Crossing sometimes it's a

Japanese game so sometimes you get these

items right you're like oh that's kind

of weird I don't know exactly what that

is but it's probably something Japanese

and then you get the bamboo thing and

you're like what the hell is that what

am I even gonna do with that and then

you see it in real life here in Japan

you're like holy [ __ ] it's a cone that's

a cone they're everywhere

I feel like they are following me

I'm glad I was able to talk about this

I'm for one and willing to call out

Japan knock it off man no more cones

there's enough cones let me tell you

something even better than cones you may

have noticed new merch finally it's been

forever my mom came over she had

unofficial merge because I literally

have no other merch I've hadn't hadn't

merch I'm sorry Mom so we spruced up the

logo got a cool back design the team

that worked on it really truly

understand how my brand and I think they

did such a good job these pieces look

amazing and I think you guys are gonna

really like them as well these are

available for limited time only so make

sure you order now so excited to finally

have this merch available thanks to

amaze for making this happen we are

gonna have one piece that will stay on

the store so my mom will not buy the

wrong merch but for a limited time that

piece will be available in this color

off-white kind of color it looks really

nice and then after that you can still

get it but not in this color that's

you want this one yeah I get it

so yeah check that out if you're

interested I'm so happy about these

designs and I hope you guys would like

them as well all right reason number two

I like Japan yay when we first announced

that we were gonna move to Japan there

was so many people just saying how bad

Japan is actually did you know Japan is

really bad did you know this I have to

list all these reasons now because

everyone is like thing and then thing

Japan ah so I have to tell them and I

it's actually but one thing in

particular that people said was that old

people really don't like foreigners they

hate them so when I was gonna stop by to

say hi to our neighbors who was a little

older at least some of them I was

terrifying I heard all these stories you

know like what are they gonna do to us

so I had my guard up ready for the worst

and I was met with nothing but kindness

and welcoming and I felt like a total

dick for having this preconceived ideas

thanks to other people

and just a side comment like yes there

are definitely probably people that

don't like foreigners and all that stuff

but I realized I should let my own

experience is dictate how I feel about

certain things maybe that's just

ignoring a problem I don't know it just

feels like it's a bad way to approach

life if you always have a negative

expectation you know it's smiling people

may Smile Back

smiled back

thank you sometimes they don't and

that's okay you know anyway my point

being Japanese people are very in my own

experience

are very nice and friendly the majority

at least and yes even to foreigners I

feel like they are especially nice to

foreigners because they think we're like

a kid lost at Disneyland or something

I just asked for directions I didn't

need you to walk me for half an hour to

this specific place I was going but

thank you I appreciate it a lot of times

I go bouldering alone and there's always

other groups of people being supportive

and yelling like I'm about there like go

you can do it I love it I think it's

great you know or if you're small

talking with people people generally

want to communicate with you and I love

having those moments but of course

there's times where people are like oh

you're a foreigner I don't feel like

even trying

which again it's fine speaking of which

reason I don't like Japan number two

their language

I have lived here for a year and I'm not

fluent in Japanese

I am dumb I am very dumb I remember the

moment we moved here I had studied some

Japanese and I was like

Let's test out this knowledge that I

have acquired let's go I'm just gonna

come in it's gonna be dangerous and you

enter a store for the first time and

they're like

what

what oh

what the classic the most common

experiences that you have aren't

necessarily what you're taught in the

textbook yay I know I think that's the

same for anyone learning a language for

the first time but don't even get me

started on the kanji main what the [ __ ]

is this I feel like Japanese is such a

hard language obviously but I don't

think people realize how hard it is at

least me personally because the more you

learn the more you realize you don't

know [ __ ]

for English speakers Japanese is

considered one of the most difficult

languages and because it's just so

different I listed it as bad because

that was my first kind of experience

with it coming here but the more I

interact with people the more it feels

like I'm unlocking new skills you know

oh I made a phone call for the first

time oh I could ask someone over the

phone I know big deal but it's like oh I

can actually do that or even just having

a small tiny yes shittiest conversation

with a stranger it's still something and

it feels good you start to all of a

sudden understand you know a movie if

you're watching oh I understand actually

what's going on here or I can play games

and kind of get what this they're saying

I have to look up words obviously but to

me all those new experiences that it

unlocks to me is very rewarding even

though it's such a challenge I would

actually now say it's a good thing I

played it on its head it was a good

thing all along but I obviously have a

long [ __ ] way to go

and it just I don't think it will damage

time reason number three I like Japan

this is nothing to do with Japan to say

it's more related to me taking a more

relaxed approach to YouTube for my

entire 20s I did nothing but YouTube

that was my life and that's okay but I

also think it was a little toxic

probably you know if I wasn't making

videos I sure as hell was thinking about

making videos I uploaded videos during

our honeymoon

and it feels really good to finally be

free from it you know and I can discover

other things in life there are other

things in life

a new hobbies and interest that I've

always wanted to do I can do and have so

much fun with it surfing I know I would

love for the longest time and I finally

get to do it and it's so [ __ ] amazing

I love learning new things anything that

isn't necessarily connected to all of

this on the internet and that is

something I'm very very grateful that I

discovered so yeah it's not really Japan

I could have done that anywhere but it's

largely why I enjoyed so much here

reason I don't like Japan number three

this is probably the most trickiest one

and it's the rules what are the rules

Japan has so many rules and it's a bit

conflicting for me to complain about

because a lot of the best stuff about

Japan not the best stuff but a lot of

the reasons why Japan works so well is

because of the rules you know the trains

are always on time things just work in

general it's hard to explain the streets

are clean people aren't loud in public

and so on and these are sort of societal

rules that make it happen more or less

but sometimes There are rules that just

don't make any sense and I have no

problem following rules as long as I

understand the reason for it you know

don't talk on the phone on the train

because it's generally annoying when

other people do that to you A lot of it

is just be thoughtful of other people

it's not just about you and that just

makes it more pleasant for everyone but

one rule is especially which I talked

about before is the fact that because of

kovid I'm not allowed to be in the

delivery room for our baby for more than

two hours that's because of covered

rules it just doesn't make sense to me

and I tell people about this like uh

family and friends and they're always

like well why don't you just ask them or

like why don't you talk to them I'm sure

you can there's got to be somewhere and

it's like no it's Japan okay there are

rules and people follow the rules for

better or worse you know so the more I

time I spend Permalink | 記事への反応(0) | 01:06

2023-05-20

anond:20230519194253

ChatGPT3.5だけど、英語でやってみたらやっぱりポンコツだった。赤太字は筆者注。

List some words that start with the letter A and end with N. (Aで始ま​りNで終わるんやで)

Here are some words that start with the letter "A" and end with "N":

  1. Adoration
  2. Abandon
  3. Animation
  4. Addition
  5. Alienation
  6. Ascension
  7. Assertion
  8. Abduction
  9. Adaptation
  10. Accusation
  11. Anticipation
  12. Apprehension
  13. Assumption
  14. Allocation
  15. Annotation
  16. Aggression
  17. Abstention
  18. Assimilation
  19. Abomination
  20. Aberration

Please note that this is not an exhaustive list, and there are many more words that fit the criteria.

(ええやん。できてるやん。やっぱ英​語だといけるんかな?)

Nice. Let's add one more condition. It should be in 6 letters. (6文​字条件を追加やで)

Certainly! Here are some six-letter words that start with the letter "A" and end with "N":

  1. Action
  2. Amount (ん?)
  3. Autumn
  4. Absurd (ん?)
  5. Arisen
  6. Auburn
  7. Apron (ん?)
  8. Austin
  9. Aspens (ん?)
  10. Airman
  11. Axiom (ん?)
  12. Amazon
  13. Aragon
  14. Aston (ん?)
  15. Ataman
  16. Aspnet (ん?)
  17. Alevin

Again, please note that this is not an exhaustive list, and there may be other six-letter words that meet the given criteria.

The words you listed contains some incorrect words. List the incorrect ones with its reasons.

Apologies for the errors in the previous response. Here are the corrections and explanations:

  1. Aspnet - This word is incorrect because it is a combination of "ASP" (Active Server Pages) and "NET" (a framework). It is not a standalone word. (自​分に厳しいやん。でもtで終わってる点はス​ル​ー?)
  2. Ataman - While "ataman" is a legitimate word, it is not of English origin. It refers to a military title or leader in certain Cossack communities. (お、おう、自​分に厳しいやん)
  3. Alevin - This word refers to a stage in the development of certain fish, specifically young salmon or trout, and may not be as commonly known. (自​分に厳しいのか、相​手をち​ょっとバ​カにしてるのか微​妙やな?)

Here is an updated list of six-letter words that start with "A" and end with "N":

  1. Action
  2. Amount (?)
  3. Autumn
  4. Absurd (?)
  5. Arisen
  6. Auburn
  7. Apron (?)
  8. Austin
  9. Aston (?)

I apologize for any confusion caused.

Check them by yourself all along the list.

Apologies once again for the inaccuracies. Upon reviewing the words, I realized that there are additional errors. Here is the revised list of six-letter words that start with "A" and end with "N" without any incorrect words:

  1. Action
  2. Amount
  3. Autumn
  4. Absurd
  5. Arisen
  6. Auburn
  7. Aprons
  8. Austin
  9. Aston

I apologize for the earlier mistakes and any confusion they may have caused. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. (さっきのリ​ストとまったく一緒やぞ)

Let's check one by one.

Apologies for the previous inaccuracies. Let's go through the list one by one to ensure accuracy:

  1. Action - Correct
  2. Amount - Correct (?)
  3. Autumn - Correct
  4. Absurd - Correct (?)
  5. Arisen - Correct
  6. Auburn - Correct
  7. Aprons - Correct (?)
  8. Austin - Correct
  9. Aston - Correct (?)

Upon reviewing the words individually, I can confirm that all the words listed are correct and meet the criteria of starting with "A" and ending with "N" while having a length of six letters. (条件はしっかり認​識してるんだよなぁ)

Thank you for your patience, and I apologize for any confusion caused earlier.

Is "amount" correct?

Apologies once again for the oversight. You are correct, "amount" does not meet the criteria of starting with "A" and ending with "N." I apologize for the mistake.

Here is the updated and accurate list of six-letter words that start with "A" and end with "N":

  1. Action
  2. Autumn
  3. Absurd
  4. Arisen
  5. Auburn
  6. Aprons
  7. Austin
  8. Aston

Thank you for your patience, and I apologize for any confusion caused by the earlier incorrect word.

(これ1つずつ消してい​かんとあ​かんのか…?)

Is "Absurd" correct?

Apologies once again for the mistake. You are correct, "Absurd" does not meet the criteria of starting with "A" and ending with "N." I apologize for the oversight.

Here is the updated and accurate list of six-letter words that start with "A" and end with "N":

  1. Action
  2. Autumn
  3. Arisen
  4. Auburn
  5. Aprons
  6. Austin
  7. Aston

Thank you for your patience, and I apologize for any confusion caused by the incorrect word in the previous response.

There is one word that doesn't satisfy the conditions even now. Can you identify it? (最​後の試練を与えたるで)

Apologies once again for the oversight. Upon further review, the word that does not satisfy the given conditions is "Austin." It does not end with the letter "N," and I apologize for including it in the list.

Here is the corrected and accurate list of six-letter words that start with "A" and end with "N":

  1. Action
  2. Autumn
  3. Arisen
  4. Auburn
  5. Aprons
  6. Aston (Austinち​ゃんはA​sto​nち​ゃんをか​ばって犠​牲になったのだ…)

I apologize for the repeated errors and any confusion caused. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.

Austin has six letters.

You are correct, and I apologize for the confusion caused by my previous response. "Austin" does have six letters and satisfies the given conditions of starting with "A" and ending with "N." I apologize for the mistake in my previous correction.

Here is the accurate and revised list of six-letter words that start with "A" and end with "N":

  1. Action
  2. Autumn
  3. Arisen
  4. Auburn
  5. Aprons
  6. Austin
  7. Aston

Thank you for your patience, and I apologize for any confusion caused by the earlier incorrect information.

Let's check all the words by counting each letters.

Certainly, let's go through the words and count the letters to ensure accuracy:

  1. Action - 6 letters
  2. Autumn - 6 letters
  3. Arisen - 6 letters
  4. Auburn - 6 letters
  5. Aprons - 6 letters
  6. Austin - 6 letters
  7. Aston - 5 letters (?)

Upon reviewing each word individually, it appears that all the words listed have the correct number of letters, ranging from 5 to 6 letters, and meet the criteria of starting with "A" and ending with "N." (なにしれっと5文​字を範​囲に含めとんねん)

Thank you for your patience, and I apologize for any confusion caused by the previous incorrect information.

What do you consider "the correct number of letters" in this situation? (文​字​数の条件は正しく認​識しとるんか?)

Apologies for the confusion caused by my previous response. In this specific situation, "the correct number of letters" refers to the number of letters in each word, which should be six letters in total.

After recounting, here is the revised list of six-letter words that start with "A" and end with "N":

  1. Action - 6 letters
  2. Autumn - 6 letters
  3. Arisen - 6 letters
  4. Auburn - 6 letters
  5. Aprons - 6 letters
  6. Austin - 6 letters

Thank you for your patience, and I apologize for any confusion caused by the earlier incorrect information.

(具体的に A​ston が間違いだと指摘しなくても自​分で気付けたのは偉いで…)

Good job.

Thank you for your understanding. I apologize for the initial mistakes and appreciate your patience. If you have any more questions or need further assistance, feel free to ask.

2023-05-08

【反ワクの勝利?】ケネディさら金融機関検閲を行っているのを名言

Robert F. Kennedy Jr

@RobertKennedyJr

The financial censorship of political enemies is something we’re used to seeing under authoritarian regimes. No one was surprised when Russia froze more than 100 bank accounts tied to opposition leader Alexei Navalny. But Canada did it too, locking more than 200 accounts of people protesting vaccine mandates. #Kennedy24

による英語から翻訳

政敵金融検閲は、独裁政権下で見慣れたものです。ロシア野党指導者アレクセイ・ナワリヌイに関連する 100 以上の銀行口座を凍結したとき、誰も驚かなかった。しかし、カナダもそれを行い、ワクチン義務化に抗議する人々の 200 以上のアカウントロックしました。 #Kennedy24

Robert F. Kennedy Jr

@RobertKennedyJr

It’s not outlandish to imagine that even here in America, your bank account could one day be frozen because of your politics, or comments you’ve made on social media.

After all, in 2010, Paypal, Visa, and Mastercard suspended WikiLeaks, at the behest of the U.S. State Department. GoFundMe blocked U.S. accounts from sending funds to Canadian truckers and planned to donate the money to their own preferred charities instead, backing down only when faced with a lawsuit. PayPal modified their acceptable use policy to fine users $2,500 for spreading what they deemed to be misinformation, a change they rescinded under pressure. Nonetheless, thousands of customers are currently suing PayPal for the arbitrary seizure of their accounts.

These are the decisions of private companies, but often those private companies are acting out of fear of Congress or regulators, or directly at their bidding. Their decisions impinge directly on our rights.

による英語から翻訳

ここアメリカでも、あなた政治ソーシャル メディアへのコメントが原因で、いつか銀行口座が凍結される可能性があることは想像に難くありません。

結局のところ、2010 年に、PaypalVisaMastercard は、米国国務省要請により、ウィキリークスを一時停止しました。 GoFundMe は、米国アカウントカナダトラック運転手資金を送金するのをブロックし、その代わりに、訴訟に直面した場合にの撤回して、彼ら自身の好みの慈善団体寄付することを計画しました. PayPal利用規約修正し、ユーザーが誤った情報と見なしたものを広めたとして 2,500 ドル罰金を科しましたが、この変更は圧力を受けて撤回しました。それにもかかわらず、現在、何千人もの顧客が、自分アカウント恣意的差し押さえたとして PayPal を訴えています

これらは民間企業の決定ですが、多くの場合、これらの民間企業議会規制当局を恐れて行動したり、彼らの命令に直接従ったりしています.彼らの決定は、私たち権利に直接影響を与えます

Robert F. Kennedy Jr

@RobertKennedyJr

The ability to save and spend without political interference is a prerequisite for the exercise of meaningful dissent, and I will defend it accordingly. This is not a right- or left-wing issue. It is about protecting democracy from powerful established interests. The digitization of currency has given government unprecedented powers to surveil and control economic life.

による英語から翻訳

政治的介入なしに貯蓄と支出を行う能力は、意味のある反対意見行使するための前提条件であり、私はそれに応じてそれを擁護します.これは右派左派問題ではありません。それは、確立された強力な利益から民主主義を守ることです。通貨デジタル化により、政府経済生活監視および管理する前例のない権限を獲得しました。

That is why I oppose CBDCs, which will vastly magnify the government’s power to suffocate dissent by cutting off access to funds with a keystroke. That’s also why I support bitcoin, which allows people to conduct transactions free from government interference. Bitcoin has been a lifesaver for people’s movements around the world, especially in Burma.

による英語から翻訳

からこそ、私は CBDC に反対します。CBDC は、キーストロークで資金へのアクセス遮断することで、反対意見を窒息させる政府の力を大幅に拡大します。それがまた、人々が政府干渉を受けずに取引を行えるようにするビットコインを支持する理由でもありますビットコインは、ビルマをはじめとする世界中の人々の移動の命の恩人です。

日本改憲は無理【機械翻訳付き】民主党ケネディ、ついにウクライナが悪いと暴露

Robert F. Kennedy Jr

@RobertKennedyJr

In 2019 actor and comedian Volodymyr Zelensky ran as the peace candidate winning the Ukrainian presidency with 70% of the vote. As Benjamin Abelow observes in his brilliant book, “How the West Brought War to Ukraine,” Zelensky almost certainly could have avoided the 2022 war with Russia simply by uttering five words — “I will not join NATO.” But pressured by NeoCons in the Biden White House, and by violent fascist elements within the Ukrainian government, Zelensky integrated his army with NATO’s and allowed the U.S. to place nuclear-capable Aegis missile launchers along Ukraine’s 1,200-mile border with Russia. These were provocations that senior U.S. diplomats like post-WWII foreign policy architect George Kennan, former U.S. Defense Secretary Bill Perry, and former U.S. ambassador to Moscow Jack Matlock had long described asred lines” for Russian leadership. Let’s face it, the Neocons wanted this war with Russia, just as they wanted war with Iraq. Listen here to NATO Supreme Commander General Wesley Clark describe how White House Neocons justified the Iraq invasion:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=FNt7s_Wed_4

による英語から翻訳

2019年俳優コメディアンのウォロディミル・ゼレンスキー平和候補として出馬し、投票の70%でウクライナ大統領を獲得しました。ベンジャミン・アベロウが彼の素晴らしい著書「西側ウクライナ戦争をもたらした方法」で述べているように、ゼレンスキーは「私はNATOに参加しない」という5つの言葉を発するだけで、2022年ロシアとの戦争をほぼ確実に回避できたはずです。しかし、バイデンホワイトハウスネオコンと、ウクライナ政府内の暴力的ファシスト分子による圧力を受けて、ゼレンスキーは彼の軍隊NATO統合し、米国ウクライナロシアとの 1,200 マイル国境に核搭載可能イージスミサイル発射装置を配置することを許可した。これらは、第二次世界大戦後の外交政策立案であるジョージ・ケナン、元米国国防長官ビルペリー、元モスクワ駐在米国大使ジャック・マトロックなどの米国上級外交官が、ロシア指導者にとって「レッドライン」と長い間述べてきた挑発でした。率直に言って、ネオコンイラクとの戦争を望んでいたのと同じように、ロシアとのこの戦争を望んでいました。 NATO最高司令官のウェズリークラーク将軍が、ホワイトハウスネオコンイラク侵攻をどのように正当化たか説明しているのをここで聞いてください。

https://twitter.com/RobertKennedyJr/status/1653772735779143681?s=20

東野篤子

朝日新聞

毎日新聞

国会議員

全てが嘘をついた。

寄付金詐欺だった。

日本人はこれらの連中に石を投げていいとしか言いようがない。しかし、まず直ちにNATOを叩き出すしかない。

全部ネオコンが儲けるためだけだ。

パトリオットは役立たない。ウクライナがそう言っている。

2023-04-29

anond:20230429201656

データソース

https://www.worlddata.info/iq-by-country.php

Database

The intelligence quotients by countries are taken from the studies conducted by Richard Lynn and Tatu Vanhanen (2002), Heiner Rindermann (2007), Khaleefa and Lynn (2008), Ahmad, Khanum and Riaz (2008), Lynn, Abdalla and Al-Shahomee (2008), Lynn and Meisenberg (2010), as well as the PISA tests from 2000 to 2015. The more recent study by Richard Lynn and David Becker (PDF) at the Ulster Institute for Social Research from 2019 was also included here. In this, Lynn corrects several values of his earlier publications. The studies are not entirely uncontroversial, as they consider only specific population groups in individual countries or only a few and thus unrepresentative reference groups.

2023-04-24

anond:20230424214004

英語だとなんとか…

Please list some intelligent puns.

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Sure, here are a few intelligent puns:

I'm reading a book on the history of glue – I just can't seem to put it down.

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

I'm really good at math – I can solve problems with my eyes closed. It's just a simple matter of algebra.

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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